Language Matters: Non-verbal v. Non-speaking
There is a vast difference between people’s perception of non-verbal versus the word non-speaking. Non-verbal can be used to define someone who has no verbal language, but this term has taken on a negative connotation with some individuals believing that those with significant speech delays or developmental delays impacting speech should be referred to as non-verbal. Here lies the inaccuracy. Non-verbal, when used inaccurately, unintentionally implies a lack of language, a lack of thought, and a lack of understanding.
In today’s society, many prefer the term non-speaking instead of non-verbal. According to the International Association for Spelling and Communication, “Non-speaking is an umbrella term for individuals who cannot use speech as their primary, effective, and reliable means of communication. The word ‘non-verbal’ comes from Latin and means ‘without words.’ Many non-speaking individuals have words. They understand language and may be able to read or write. Using the term “non-verbal” can contribute to the misunderstanding that a person lacks intelligence” (International Association for Spelling as Communication, n.d.).
Speech is only one form of expression and communication. Speech does not measure intelligence or understanding. Those who have deficits in speech can still communicate, whether they use sounds, gestures, pointing, grunting, sign language, an Augmentative and Alternate Communication device (AAC), or through written words. Maybe, silent in words and time spent watching and observing others, makes non-speaking individuals more intuitive, more observant, and helps us to see that communication skills can shine even without words.
Different Roads, Same Destination
I read a quote that compares non-speaking children to people without a car, which reminded me that people have places to go and things to do regardless of having a vehicle. They still get things done and go out into their community. They carpool, use a car service, take a bus, rent a car, take a bike, or walk. Just because they don’t have a car doesn’t mean they don’t go anywhere. Non-speaking individuals don’t stay silent because they have nothing to say, but rather because they cannot speak. We accommodate their needs by giving them another way to speak their mind and find their voice. They are able to arrive at their destination. Navigating in a primarily speaking world without speech requires resilience, adaptability and determination, which are all qualities that deserve tremendous respect and recognition.
From Accommodation to Inclusion
In all settings, we should presume competence, even when skills such as communication look different. Communication is a right, and we must do all we can to ensure that all individuals are able to communicate, regardless of verbal abilities. There are many different communication supports available that can be introduced early, and not used as a last resort.
Educators and caregivers should be able to model communication tools, not just require children to use them. At home, families can find pictures of people, activities, foods, and events to place in a manila envelope to carry, or put on their refrigerator as their own family picture board. Sign language can be used to communicate simple words such as “yes,” “no,” “more,” and “all done.” If their child has related service personnel that work on communication skills, they can ask them how their strategies used in school or therapy sessions can carry over to the home. Many therapists are willing to support and possibly even create items to use at home. Many online websites offer free downloadable visuals as well, so parents aren’t overwhelmed by creating their own. When parents use the tools that their children use, children see them speak their language, and this honors the children.
Patience is a virtue, and it is true when working with children. Parents and caregivers need to remember that while language development is happening, they must allow adequate wait time for children to respond. It can take longer for children to process what they hear and develop a response, so wait time may be longer than parents or teachers are used to. It is also important to remember to honor all forms of communication consistently, even if they are different from what the majority of a group is using. Celebrate each child gesturing to the snack wanted, rejoice in each child signing “all done,” after a meal, and relish in the fact that the child is sharing information in a way that is best for that child.
Ways to Support Non-speaking Individuals
At home, focusing on age-appropriate language is hugely helpful. I avoid any language or tones meant for somebody younger, no matter what the age of the child is in front of me. Families should assume competence and not use “baby talk” or simpler sentences with teenagers, despite the developing language. Parents can model choice boards and hang pictures around their homes. This can decrease pressure to increase verbal language, if verbal language is not something that the children have.
Family members often became the advocates for their children. They can encourage people to talk directly to their child instead of talking to the parent. For example, I still have this happen with my daughter. People ask me her name or how old she is. I gently remind them to include her in the conversation and give her the opportunity to share information in whatever way is best for her. Some children may say their name, others it might be the initial sound of their name, and others might point to their AAC device. No matter how they share their information, all children should be included in the conversation. I also like people to know that a delay in response doesn’t mean that a child does not have an answer. It means that the child needs additional time to process the question and formalize a response. These are two things that I like to share with people, when my daughter and I are out in the community.
Listening Differently Changes Lives
Silence can speak volumes, in more ways than one. If someone is silent, it does not mean that they have nothing to say. Instead of listening for words, I encourage families, teachers, and people in the communities to listen with curiosity instead of judgment. There are many ways to show understanding, compassion and love. It should not be limited by words. When we provide access to communication, voices emerge, sharing beautiful ideas and feelings. Inclusion begins with the belief that each individual’s thoughts are worth hearing. It continues when ways are found to hear and learn from every individual. When space and methods are created for all to communicate, the world is truly inclusive and welcomes all individuals, no matter what mode of communication they use. Children have been speaking all along. The question is whether they are heard.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christina Kreml (MA. Ed.) is a dedicated special education teacher with two advanced degrees and a passion for supporting children with disabilities. As a parent to a special needs daughter, Christina brings both professional expertise and personal experience into her advocacy work. She is committed to empowering families, championing the rights of children with disabilities, and helping parents navigate the journey of raising exceptional children. You can connect with her at www.iepclarity.com.
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