The Reality: Kids with Disabilities Are at Greater Risk
Studies show that children with disabilities are 2 to 3 times more likely to be bullied than their peers, and in global reports, up to six more times likely to experience violence (Inclusion Ireland, 2021). In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that 44.4% of teens with developmental delays report being bullied, compared to 31.1% of teens without disabilities (CDC, 2024). These forms of bullying include physical aggression, verbal taunts, exclusion, and even being manipulated or used by peers pretending to be friends. Why? It happens because differences stand out and because some children can’t easily express what’s happening. Most often, it happens because too many school systems still rely on reactive discipline instead of preventative support.
What I See as a Teacher
As a middle school special education teacher, I’ve witnessed bullying during school transitions, in hallways, at lunch, and on the playground. It doesn’t always look like an obvious incident. Bullying is often subtle, disguised as “joking” or exclusion. I routinely make it a point to keep an eye on all students, not just mine.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that if students don’t report bullying, it isn’t happening. But the truth is, kids with disabilities may not always know how, or feel safe enough, to speak up (UNESCO, 2020). As adults, we have to listen closely to the children. So much is said in passing, through sarcasm, tone, or quiet teasing. It is our responsibility to be tuned in.
When I intervene, I don’t just redirect the behavior. I talk to students about the impact of their words. I remind them that a “joke” is only a joke if everyone’s laughing and taking part in the humor, instead of someone being the target of the jokes. I teach students to consider how someone might feel in that moment, and remind them that empathy often makes a lasting difference.
What Bullying Can Look Like for Our Kids
Bullying doesn’t always look like what we might expect. For children with disabilities, it can show up as being consistently ignored or excluded, mocking of their assistive devices or support needs, being “set up” by peers who know they’ll get in trouble for reacting, and teasing about behaviors/stimming/social misunderstandings. Bullying can be making someone the target of passive-aggressive “jokes.” Sometimes, our kids don’t have the words to explain what is happening to them. We have to look for the signs:
increased anxiety, school refusal, changes in sleep or mood, regression, or new behaviors (CDC, 2024).
Take Action : Your Child’s IEP Should Include Safety Measures
Many families don’t realize that bullying concerns can and should be addressed through the Individualized Education Program, commonly known as an IEP (UNESCO, 2020). Family members are part of an IEP team. Family members are permitted to ask for methods of support for their child to be included in the IEP for when challenges occur.
Examples of supports you can request:
- Supervised transitions between classes
- Assigned lunch or recess buddies
- Behavior intervention plans with clear steps for staff
- Identified “safe adults” or check-in systems
- Visual supports to report incidents (verbally or nonverbally)
- Counseling or social work services
- Peer training or classroom education on differences
If bullying is suspected or confirmed, request a team meeting to discuss what safety supports can be added or changed. You can also ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) or a formal Safety Plan.
How to Speak Up (Even When It’s Hard) If you suspect bullying:
- Document everything: dates, comments, behavior changes, communication with school
- Send concerns in writing
- Ask for a meeting and express your concerns directly
- Follow up consistently and bring an advocate if needed
Family members can reach out to the school, and can use the following script for support:
“I’m concerned my child may be experiencing bullying. I’m seeing changes in behavior and I’d like to meet to discuss supports and supervision. This is a safety concern and impacts their ability to access education.”
What Schools and Families Must Understand
We can’t address bullying with posters and slogans alone. Real change happens when adults pay attention to the moments in-between, such as: during class changes, on the bus, and at lunch. As professionals,
we need to listen to what students say and don’t say, because body language, gestures and facial expressions can speak louder than words. We need to recognize when “joking” becomes targeted and hurtful, and share that information with our children. Schools and workplaces should be providing real training on disability awareness and inclusion. Most importantly, everyone that a child works with needs to model compassion, not just compliance.
As a parent, I urge other families to keep an eye on what happens after school hours too. The rise of social media and online games has made bullying even more invisible. I also advise that families delay access to social media as long as they can, or have ways to monitor activity. Once social media is in the hands of a child, it’s much harder to monitor and even harder to erase (Inclusion Ireland, 2021). Posts can be deleted, but a screenshot that someone else takes can last much longer.
Bullying doesn’t stop on its own. It stops when adults take action, when schools listen, when parents speak up, and when children are taught that everyone, regardless of their abilities, deserves safety, respect, and belonging. We can’t undo every hurt. But we can change the systems around our children. When we do that, we show our children exactly how much they matter.
References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2024). National Health Interview Survey – Teen, 2021–2023. Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db514.htm
Inclusion Ireland. (2021). Children with disabilities more likely to experience bullying and abuse. Retrieved from: https://www.irishtimes.com/news/education/children-with-disabilities-much-more-likely-to-be-bullied-in-school-1.4562368
UNESCO. (2020). School violence and bullying. Retrieved from: https://www.unesco.org/en/articles/bullying-rates-higher-children-disabilities
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christina Kreml is a dedicated special education teacher with two advanced degrees and a passion for supporting children with disabilities. As a parent to a special needs daughter, Christina brings both professional expertise and personal experience into her advocacy work. She is committed to empowering families, championing the rights of children with disabilities, and helping parents navigate the journey of raising exceptional children. You can connect with her at www.iepclarity.com
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