Families know this. They want their loved ones to make friends, feel included, and participate fully in the world. The path isn’t always clear. Daily routines, communication differences, and limited community support can make social development harder than it should be.
The good news? Social growth is a teachable skill. It starts long before someone enters a classroom, day program, or job site. It begins at home, then expands into the community, gaining strength with every consistent, positive experience.
Let’s break down how families and communities can work together to build a true sense of belonging.
The Long-Term Power of Social Growth
Social skills shape far more than conversations. They guide how a person navigates choices, sets boundaries, solves problems, and builds relationships.
A strong social foundation leads to:
- Better emotional regulation
- More independence in daily life
- Higher self-esteem
- Stronger community participation
- More success in work or volunteer roles
Just like with any other skill: cooking, exercising, or crossing the street, people grow socially when families model communication and behavior, create predictable routines, and provide opportunities for real-world interaction. This foundation starts at home.
Starting at Home: Routines That Build Confidence
Social development doesn’t begin with a big leap. It begins with small steps, using small predictible routines. Predictable routines lower anxiety. When someone knows what comes next (who they’ll see, where they’ll go, what the plan is), there is less stress and more willingness to communicate and engage.
Role-play builds readiness.
Families can practice everyday moments:
- Ordering food
- Greeting neighbors
- Asking for help
- Saying “no”
- Joining a conversation
This kind of rehearsal creates familiarity, which builds confidence.
Safe risk-taking strengthens independence.
Trying something new helps teach problem-solving. The key is: safety without over-protecting, support without shielding, and guidance without blocking.
Small responsibilities shape identity.
Helping with chores, setting the table, bringing in the mail, all reinforce purpose. Contribution allows a person to feel, “You matter here.” These home-based habits make community participation less intimidating and more approachable.
Stepping Into the Community With Confidence
Once routines at home feel strong, families can begin widening the circle. The goal isn’t to push someone into uncomfortable situations. It’s to build momentum: one familiar place or predictable pattern at a time.
Start small.
Visit the same place each week, same time, same routine. Predictability builds trust, while familiarity allows for comfort. Individuals who are comfortable are more likely to participate socially.
Look for community anchors.
Many places welcome individuals with I/DD, even if they don’t explicitly advertise it:
- Libraries
- Faith communities
- Art studios
- Adaptive recreation groups
- Parks and nature centers
- Small businesses
Use scaffolded experiences.
Begin with observation. Encourage learning through the examples of others. Build with participation. Find opportunities where small, low-risk social situations allow for participation within their comfort level.
Aim for independence. As small interactions lead to larger ones, encouragement and support are key. Make sure to keep the end goal of greater independence in mind.
Remember – growth comes in layers, not leaps. Learning social skills can take years of practice. Consistent progress and effort over time will make a difference.
Celebrate small wins.
A wave to a cashier, a shared smile, choosing an item independently are moments that stack up. Over time, they become the building blocks of belonging. When communities show up with intention, people with IDD find their footing faster.
Where Communities Can Do Better
Many communities think inclusion means access. But access is the bare minimum.
Real inclusion requires:
- Clear instructions
- Predictable routines
- Sensory-considerate environments
- Staff who understand communication differences
- Leadership opportunities for people with I/DD
- Friendly faces who greet people consistently
These elements turn a space into a place of belonging. Communities don’t always need special programs to be more inclusive. They need structure, warmth, and awareness. When they offer that, individuals with I/DD don’t just participate, they thrive. Families feel the difference, too. They feel welcomed. They feel supported. They feel connected.
How Providers and Tools Fit In
Families aren’t the only ones supporting social growth. Providers play a huge role. The challenge is that social progress is often invisible. It’s easy for providers to miss a communication breakthrough or a moment of independence if they don’t have time to write it down. That’s why thoughtful tracking matters.
Forward-thinking providers are building social goals into service plans and documenting progress in real time. They’re noting interactions, communication attempts, peer engagement, and confidence-building moments. In my opinion, when providers use technology to help them focus on individuals, rather than paperwork, these moments can multiply. Similar to other forms of skill development, communication and social progress is being tracked closer than ever, which allows social development to be measured.
What Families Can Do Right Now
You don’t need a perfect plan to build belonging. You just need consistent steps that match the individual’s goals.
Start here:
- Ask the providers how they support social skill development.
- Request simple updates about your loved one’s engagement and interactions.
- Role-play daily situations at home.
- Visit familiar community spots each week.
- Look for warm, predictable environments where your loved one feels safe.
- Celebrate small wins, even tiny ones.
These actions compound over time. They build confidence, reduce anxiety, and make social interaction feel less like a challenge and more like an opportunity.
Closing Thought
Belonging is important for everyone, especially those with I/DD. It grows through routines, practice, safe exploration, and supportive environments. Families lay the foundation. Communities expand it. Providers reinforce it. With the right tools and planning, individuals with I/DD can step into the world with confidence.
Social growth isn’t about being outgoing. It’s about being connected to people, purpose, and a community that sees your worth. When we build that together, belonging becomes possible for everyone.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Patrick McKinney is the Marketing Team Lead at Kibu, a platform transforming how disability service providers deliver care. He possesses a myriad of experience in marketing, public affairs, and mission-driven work supporting individuals with disabilities. His efforts are driven by a deep commitment to amplifying human impact. Patrick is fueled by bridging the gap between innovation and inclusion.
Read the article here.